General Advice

For experienced travellers, the following should be automatic but it needs to be reinforced anyway. Before booking into any room, check it out. Feel the bed and switch on the fan and/or air conditioner, firstly to see if they actually work and secondly to see if they make any noise. There is nothing worse than trying to sleep with a noisy fan or air con clattering away all night. Also check that the toilet flushes and the shower supplies adequate, clean water.

Check there is no karaoke bar or bar with a nightly live band nearby. Although the brick and cement plaster construction of most buildings is reasonably soundproof, the din from some drunk foreigner screaming ‘My Way' at the top of his lungs can penetrate three feet of reinforced concrete. And Thai DJ's and bands know no volume setting apart from ‘maximum'.

At any time of the year except perhaps around Christmas, ensure that you book a room with an air-conditioner. For anyone not used to the heat, fans just do not ease the discomfort or humidity. Rooms with air conditioners start at around 400 baht per night. If you are staying in Pattaya over the New Year period, some hotels ‘require' that you pay (usually around 1,000 baht per person) to attend their New Year's Eve Party whether you go or not. Again, check with reception first.

Because hotels have been caught in the past by guests leaving without checking out, saying goodbye or paying the bill, most will ask for payment or partial payment in advance. If you are going to pay by credit card, they may wish to copy your card details. Do not let the card out of your sight. Credit card fraud is rife in many countries, with fake cards being produced in vast numbers. The personal details of the real card can be downloaded onto a computer and ‘clone' cards produced. Other common methods include making more than one receipt or asking the customer to sign twice as the first attempt “didn't come through”. Credit card companies say the most vulnerable time for customers is when their card is taken away for ‘checking' and senior Pattaya police urge credit card holders to insist on not being parted from their property during the transaction process.

Some up-market hotels will charge you extra (around 600 baht extra) if you bring an ‘overnight guest' back to your room. It is a good idea to ask at reception before you book in. According to the ‘streetwise', a way to avoid this is to initially book into the hotel as a couple. If you are asked where your partner is, you can say you are meeting her later. (Not strictly a lie). NOTE: This ploy may or may not work, as it has not been fully tested in the field. For instance, a problem may arise should an observant hotel employee notice that your companion on the second night is not the same as your lady on the first night.

I once asked at a very nice hotel if they charged extra for bringing a lady back for the night. The receptionist said no, that was not a problem. She then smiled and added, “But if you bring two lady back, we charge more.” That's fair enough, don't you think?

Whether you are visiting Pattaya for the first time or not, upon arrival at your hotel make sure you grab some of their business cards. Whenever you leave your room, take one of the cards with you. Why? Because you would not be the first farang who has forgotten the name of his hotel when he has ended up tired and emotional in the wee small hours of the morning.

Strange place + grown man + alcohol = “What the hell is the name of my hotel?”